


The Strange Art of Showing Affection

by Keissen



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, I wasn't, M/M, Not Serious, Parody, What Was I Thinking?, i guess, in the fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:00:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24326914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keissen/pseuds/Keissen
Summary: Rhys loved the attention and admiration bestowed upon him by the people.Too bad he was introduced to the other side of it – fan fiction.
Relationships: Katagawa Jr./Rhys (Borderlands)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 11





	The Strange Art of Showing Affection

**Author's Note:**

> This is not serious. I had this idea since the second chapter of my main story and I couldn’t get it out of my head so... Here it is! It may be a little OCC but so is the idea of this one-shot XD Maybe I’ll write other parts to it but we shall see whether or not there is interest in this fic.

Rhys was going through his emails like a good CEO he was. Unfortunately, nobody told him that the position not only brought prestige and money, but also bloodthirsty sharks that just waited to get a bite out of this Rhys-cake.

Ugh. He grimaced. 

Good thing he said it only in his head, because he didn’t want Rhys-cake to stick and knowing his luck it would because why wouldn’t it? It’s not as if he tried to do so like millions times with ‘Vault-o-clock’... he even patented it but no one knew it.

No appreciation for finer things in life.

Anyway.

He was sipping that delicious coffee, brought to him by his loyal to a fault troops.

God, how he loved being loved!

Now he could understand how that kind of devotion would get into someone’s head. He was no shading anyone.

Not at all.

So imagine his surprise when he saw Lorelei striding into his office as if she owned that space, holding something in her hand and grinning like a cat that just caught the canary.

‘’What are you doing here?’’

‘’I just found something interesting, boss’’

‘’You could just send it to me’’

He sighed. 

‘’I’m afraid that it couldn’t be’’

She put on her serious face. Her right hand rested on her hip, making her look more strict and bossy.

‘’What is it? Some top secret information on that Katagawa weirdo?’’

The situation was getting more serious. Not only he was being called by telemarketers that want to sell him some guns but also Junior was calling him five times a day.

This was just ridiculous!

He was selling guns, why would he buy some trash from other company?!

‘’Kind of’’

‘’Well, proceed!’’

He learned back in his chair and moved his hand in the universal sign of ‘go on’. Lorelei plopped down on his desk and with an uttermost serious voice she began reading.

_Gosh, how he hated his parents. They didn’t understand him at all. His father was an alcoholic old man and his mother died. Not literally, she just went on with her boyfriend.  
They lived modest because his father didn’t work that was why when he stood before his mirror he saw himself wearing those cheap Gocci (?) or whatever the brand name was clothes.  
Ugh, life was so hard.  
He pulled out his newest iPhone because he was poor, remember? And called his friend because he has many because even though he was poor he was also extremely good looking._

‘’What is this?’’

He blinked full of disbelief at what his poor ears were forced to hear.

‘’What do you mean, boss?’’

She played clueless and innocently stared back at him.

‘’What are you reading right now?’’

‘’Ohh! It’s a nice story! Actually, it’s about you!’’

‘’Me?’’

‘’Yeah! You have to wait for a bit though’’

‘’But you said-‘’

‘’Hush! I’m reading here!’’

_He walked with his best friend, ignoring those people filed to the brim with jealousy. Oh how they all wished to be as amazing as he was.  
But there was one that Kagatawa would want above all else.  
Rhys-senpai._

‘’What the hell? Rhys-senpai? Kagatawa? What is going on?!’’

He leaned towards her while scrutinizing her thoughtfully. He couldn’t believe that anyone would call him that. And who the hell was Kagatawa?!

She looked at him as if he just grew a second head and started singing. 

‘’You don’t know what it is?’’

‘’How would I?”

He crossed his arms on his chest and scowled at his employee. 

‘’Wait... Are you trying to tell me that you never wrote a Rhys/Handsome Jack fanfic?’’

‘’Wrote what?!’’

What was up with people?! He might had been a little interested in Handsome Jack as a young man, but who hadn’t been at that time? He had worked at his company so obviously he had had motivational posters, they had been obligatory! Maybe he had put his face in place of Jack’s but that had been a joke.

Later on Rhys had had him inside himself but that didn’t count seeing as it wasn’t a true Jack but an AI.

As murderous and traitorous as the original but still – no flesh, no blood.

In the end, he literally had pulled him out of himself and as a punishment left him in his EHOeye.

It wasn’t that way because he felt something towards the programme, but Rhys was a vindicative and powerful CEO.

A bad bitch – or whatever kids called it these days.

He just made an example out of Jack.

Yes! That was what it was.

_He stood there with his perfectly styled hair and sparkling eyes. His face was perfectly sculpted and the only flaw he could find was this ugly as sin moustache._

‘’Why everybody that’s not a trooper, hates my moustache?!’’ He exclaimed in anger, feeling genuinely upset that nobody supported his decision.

‘’You want me to answer that?’’

‘’Yes! Don’t make me use my finger gun on you! I’ll let you know that once upon a time I absolutely destroyed everyone at Hyperion in a finger gun fight’’

He expected her to look a little frightened but in reality he was met with the most unimpressed stare he had ever seen in his entire life.

_With time he got used to it but still he wished he could just shave it off.  
Anyway.  
Kagatawa saw him walking in his direction and just before him he was felling forward and just so that Kagatawa caught him in his arms saving that pretty face from getting bruised.  
‘’Thank you so much Kagatawa for saving my perfectly sculpted face even though it is covered partially with ugly as sin moustache!’’ He exclaimed in joy._

‘’I would never say that! This is a siege moustache and everybody secretly likes it!’’

And now he was pouting because really? Somebody decided to grow a moustache and everybody went crazy! Only his troopers were helpful and understood his efforts put into raising morale.

‘’Yeah, sure. Whatever lets you sleep at night’’

_‘’Don’t worry Rhys, I will be always there for you’’  
‘’Oh! There is something I wanted to tell you Kagatawa!’’  
‘’What is it?’’  
‘’Since the moment I saw you I-I...’’  
‘’What is it?’’ He repeated while grabbing gently Rhys’ chin so he couldn’t bashfully hide his face.  
‘’I...’’ He blushed prettily and batted his long eyelashes coyly.  
‘’I love you’’ Rhys continued and then his lips-_

‘’STOP! Stop reading this to me or there will be no more coffee for you!’’ He stood up from his chair rapidly, causing it to screech painfully.

‘’But boss! The best part is later on!’’

He quickly grabbed a few things that were the closest to him.

‘’I don’t care! I have a super duper important meeting...yeah! And I cannot be late for it!’’

Without looking back at her, he made a strategic retreat from his office. At least that was what he told himself while dashing away from the room, leaving Lorelei behind.


End file.
